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New Answers ---> New Questions

First off, I need to start by saying the support from my first post was beyond overwhelming. The best way I can explain it is to say that before I'd told anyone I felt like I couldn't breathe when I was in public. I was holding my breath any time I was around someone because I felt like if I took a deep breath I'd lose control of the emotions I was fighting so hard to keep inside. Now, I feel like I can breathe again, and even though it hurts with every breath, it's better than not having them at all. Where I am - I left off by telling you that I had to get bloodwork before I left the hospital last week. They measure a level called HCG which is a hormone that doubles and triples when you get pregnant. For a non-pregnant woman, this number is zero. I got the results that my number was 20,650, which is a normal number for a woman that is 6-8 weeks pregnant. This number left all sorts of questions in my head because if I'm not pregnant why is this number so high?  M

Highs and Lows

Where to begin...... I had a hard time deciding if I should even share my story. If you haven't told anyone you're pregnant, do you get to tell anyone that you're no longer pregnant? After a lot of time thinking, I realized we grieve when we lose a grandparent, parent, sibling; why wouldn't we grieve when we lose a child? I admit that when I'd heard of people having miscarriages I felt bad for them, but I never understood how someone could be so sad when they'd barely been pregnant. (I understand how terrible that sounds now, and I'm mad at my former self for ever having the thought) The truth is, I think there are so many of us that have gone through it and suffered in silence through the pain. For my mental health, I can't do that. I need to write out my story and sort out my thoughts so I can heal and move forward. I've asked God so many times why this is happening to me and maybe my answer is to help others through something I never would'v